Reflections

The Final Full Circle

Four years ago I left San Diego on a one-way ticket to Sumatra. Today I’m in Sumatra with a one-way ticket to San Diego. I want this day to pop up in my memories in another four years, so here’s a rapid-fire of all the wild shit I have done in that time.

2015

Lost Cristina. Observed orangutans in the wild. Bathed under waterfalls. Made friends with an elephant. Bartended on a deserted island in Cambodia. Survived sexual assault. Rode a motorbike through Vietnam. Solo. Had a first date in Bali. \

2016

Moved to San Francisco with nothing. Drowned in the concrete jungle but started to identify as a writer. Lost Marilyn. Travelled to Venice, Prague, and Berlin. Helped document a love story in Myanmar at the trust and invitation of a stranger turned soul sister who is also the reason I came out very publicly about my assault and have connected with so many women since. Watched the sunset over the Aegean Sea in Santorini. Walked the length of Walden Pond.

2017

Eloped (forever one of the most beautiful days of my life). Moved to Ireland in a matter of weeks. Hosted SO MANY PEOPLE and meals and game nights in our beautiful home. Got my mama to travel internationally TWICE. Even got my brother to visit by coercing him with a flight. Travelled more through Europe than I ever imagined I would in this life. Spent my birthday at the first Lollapalooza in Paris. Fell in love with Lake Como. Travelled by train through Switzerland. Oktoberfest in Munich. Hosted Friendsgiving for 20+ people from over 10 countries.

2018

Got accepted to a photography tour in Iceland. Lisbon stole my heart. Broke my face at the second wedding (forever one of the worst days of my life). Slow danced on a glacier to make up for it. Fell into a deep depression. Lost Jimmy. Lost the last piece of myself I was holding onto. Discovered Reiki. Put all the pieces back together again. Rode horseback for the first time and slept in a teepee in the Irish countryside for my birthday. Travelled to Australia to reconnect with friends I made in Cambodia but immersed in the beautiful country of Sri Lanka first. Walked the base of Uluru and watched the Milky Way set while the sun rose simultaneously. Drove along the Great Ocean Road (a dream since hosting a foreign exchange student in high school). Orchestrated a reunion with the 13 beautiful souls we met on the photography tour in Bali and held my first creative writing workshop. Introduced 7 of those 13 humans to the rainforest. Flew to California to dance barefoot under the Milky Way at my oldest friend’s wedding. Flew back to Myanmar to see the women who changed my life the first time and deliver the hundreds of pictures I took of the girls. Met more soulmates than I can even count. Revealed Jimmy’s park bench. Saw the ending of my marriage in December.

2019

One last road trip through Ireland with my OHP humans. Packed up our lives in less than a month. Left Ireland. Drove a UHaul from SF to SD and sold all my earthly possessions. Lost Jeff. Got divorced. Left again because San Diego was too painful. Snow shoed in the French Alps. Lost my aunt. Walked the entirety of Spain to make peace with the ocean. Road a horse along the coast of Morocco in celebration of my 30th birthday. Hosted my first writing retreat in Bali. Dove in pristine waters off Flores. Lived on a sailboat in the Komodo islands. Slayed land dragons (kidding, observed them from a safe distance). Flew home thinking I was finally done, but came back just to experience Sumatra and ended in the rainforest where it all began.

The final full circle of an infinite number of loops. Time to head home and ground down for a bit.

See you soon San Diego.

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